People Pleaser

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Yes, you are kind and respectful to others. Yes, you care about their feeling. Yes, you try to make them happy with your efforts. There is nothing bad in it. . But what if your this habit becomes obsession. And that destroys your own self-esteem and mental health. Starting from frustration, to feeling helpless in expressing on thoughts and opinion. It all happens when you ignore your own happiness for people. Be kind always to people but not at cost of your own self-esteem. Set boundaries and stick to them, that's a fair deal. Moreover, you don't need to prove your worthiness to every person. We can't satisfy all of them. So it's good to set the boundaries and never drop the head.
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“the wound is the place where the light gets in”

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Emotional pain often stems from the inability to let go. Like holding a surgical blade with your own bleeding arms without the ability to set it down, attachment usually starts to hurt after a while. The attachment could be to a person, a place, even a memory. Upon closer examination, our attachment is usually to an idea, or a way of thinking /perceiving. Very often we are attached to people/things/behaviours we no longer need, yet it can be a struggle to let go of the coping behaviours we developed to deal with the original hurt. I, personally, gets strongly attached to people  which usually ends up in pain. I am very much vulnerable to heartaches !

Rumi famously said “the wound is the place where the light gets in”. The very awareness of your pain is your opportunity to let the light in. 


Some of us become attached, even addicted, to pain itself, because it has become so familiar. Yet it’s helpful to remember that there is always equal capacity to feel joy as there is to feel pain, if you can open yourself to it. The opening, when it actually happens, tends to be less dramatic than we might imagine.

To make the first step from wounded to joyful, a vital shift in mindset needs to be made. That is the understanding that being wounded does not impede your ability to feel joy. It may feel like it, but that is an illusion. You are, after all, the container of your emotions, not the emotions themselves, so proof you can feel pain is also evidence you can feel joy… Start here.



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